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Stress Level Midnight

Let me start by saying first and foremost: I love school. I am lucky enough to come to a beautiful place that is filled with fantastic and loving people every day. That I get to come learn about all the things I love, like Beowulf, and fiction writing, and I get to work in places I love where my staff is incredibly supportive. Which is why it pains me, physically, mentally, and emotionally, to say this: I hate school.

For some reason, there has been a trend this year—and I’m noticing this for a lot of people, not just myself—but school seems to be getting more stressful every day. I don’t think my workload is much more difficult than it has been in previous semesters. Sure I’m taking Early British Literature, and Physical Geography of Michigan, but I’m also taking two very relaxed writing classes, so my stress level should not be as high as it is. I’ve definitely had it worse.

So what is it now? Is it the fact that I’m getting older? That I’m approaching my senior senior year much quicker than I would like? Is it that this winter has been relatively mild and therefore has made me crave summer like never before? Is it that I’m tired of the monotony of it? I am asking these questions every day and I seem to be no closer to finding an answer.

And I know that’s okay, because life is filled with questions that will never be answered. But there are times, like the ones I’m in now, where you just really want someone to tell you why everything seems to be so difficult right now. Except, no one is here to tell me that. So I am left telling myself that it will be summer soon, and that all this stress will be worth it. Because, in the end, I get to do something I love, every single day, even when I would rather do anything else.

It’s stressful times like these, especially when I’m writing about them, that I need to remember how lucky I am to have this life. Some people don’t get to have the beautiful and stressful blessing of school, and I have the privilege of going to one of the best schools in the world.

That being said, I love how much I get to hate school.

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